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This is a transcribed copy of the episode "Adopted".
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[Music] Man: And that brings us to $105 million for this exquisite piece $106 million, thank you.
$107 million, $108 million, 109 and sold! [Applause] Our next auction is from an antique collection once owned by Louis XIV.
May I introduce you to the King's priceless set of Bears! [All gasp] Woman: What is it? What? Everyone, please remain calm.
Excuse me.
[Feedback] Ahem, hello, you fine people.
We three bears are up for adoption.
What do you think you're doing? - Looking for a home.
- Give me that! Hey! Hey! [Grunting] Give it back! Ow! Oh, my eye.
That's right, folks, three rare, adorable baby bears for sale.
Let's start the bidding at $1 million.
Ready and go.
1 million for bears.
1 million for bears.
Any of you can make three bears [Thru teeth] Bro, no one's gonna bid that much.
Uh, what about $10.
$10, anyone! Just take 10 buckaroonies.
We can go as low as zero dollars.
That is enough! I don't know how you got in here, but you're not in the catalog.
Security! Wait, please, it was so hard to sneak in here.
Please, we just want to be adopted! We just need one bid! $10 million.
[Audience gasps] - What?! - Someone bid on us! Uh, really? Man [chuckling]: Why, yes, I truly did.
Allow me to introduce myself.
My name is Charles Willoughby-Wentworth, the Earl of Worthlington.
It is a pleasure to make your acquaintance.
Whoo-hoo! We're saved! Hold up, Grizz, we don't even know this guy.
So who are you? Some type of oil tycoon or something? [Laughs] Oh, you delightful little jester.
I don't have a job like some kind of evil rich person.
That was my father.
No, no, no, no, I'm the fun kind of rich person.
The kind whose only job is buying whatever he wants.
And what I want are three wonderful baby bears.
Wow.
This is all happening so fast.
[Chuckles] I'll tell you what, why don't I show you where I live, and then you can decide if you want to live with me.
Sorry, just staring into your beautiful hazelnut eyes.
[Clears throat] Yeah, we'll check it out.
Stupendous! Geoffrey, the bears have agreed to come home with us.
They will fly with me in my private jet.
Whaaat?! Welcome, Bears, to my humble home.
- What is this, some kind of castle? - It's a mansion, Grizz.
And it could be all yours.
Would you like the tour? Uh-huh.
Yes, please.
Come right in.
[Music] Whoa.
[Laughter] [Disonant piano tones] Whee! - I got you.
- I got you.
[Engine whirring] So, Bears, what do you think? Will you stay? - Yeah, sure.
- Why not? - Okay.
- Great! Well, then, why don't I show you to your room.
- Yeah! - Here we are.
I hope you like it.
Wow, it's just the right size for us.
And with a garden, it's perfect.
Ooh, and hardwood floors.
Mm, messy.
You think we could get a maid in here? Oh, that won't be necessary.
- This is how Carl likes it.
- Uh, who's Carl? [Music] - Hu.
- Aah! Oh, hello, Carl, your new teddy bears have arrived.
What? No! -No teddy bears? - That's right.
My beautiful baby silverback Carl here just loves his teddy bears.
Until they end up boring him, of course.
And who in this world can afford to be bored? Certainly not Carl.
So I got him some extra special, real-life teddy bears this time.
Oh, and you're just so excited to play with them, - aren't you, Carl? - Aah! - Ah, Panda! - Ow! Aah! This hurts! No, let me go.
Ah! I don't like it.
Help me, guys, please.
Hey, what's going on, Charles? Let him go, man.
Oh, Carl, dear, what about these other teddies? Any interest? [Growls] Ah! No! Mm, looks like Carl doesn't want you two.
- Well, out you go.
- Oh! Hey! Whoa! [Grunts] Bro, we gotta go save Panda before that gorilla finds out he isn't made of stuffing.
Oh, what? How are we supposed to get past this gate? All right.
No worries.
I'll brainstorm it up.
Stormin', I'm stormin' Grizz: Okay, here's the gate, here's us.
So first, we build a catapult and you fly over and I'm stuck on the other side.
Oh, no.
Okay, maybe like a grappling hook.
And we march our way inch by inch up that vertical incline.
Wait, no, stop, we don't have a grappling hook.
Oh, I know! We can dig underneath, and then we'll end up on the other side.
[Laughs] It's genius! Oh, way to go, bro! [Music] [Growls] Well, this is my life now.
- [Whispering] Psst, PanPan.
- [Gasps] Is that you, Grizz? You guys gotta get me out of here.
We're coming, just hold on.
Okay, one, two, three.
[Humming] [Music] Whoa! [Carl snoring] Grab my hand PanPan.
Got you.
Wha! Free me.
We got you, bro.
We're gonna pull you out of there.
- Ready, one, two, three.
- Aah! Ooh.
Both: It worked! Quick, let's get out of here, bros.
- We're free.
- Wait up, guys.
[Squeak] Huh? [Squeaking] Oh, no.
Leave me.
He just wants me.
- Aah! - PanPan, no! Farewell, brothers.
[Grunting] [Music] [Glass shatters] Panda! [Crash!] Uh, what is all that racket? [Screams] Carl, baby, what are you doing here? [Music] Whoa! Hey, hey! Um, now that we're roommates, do you mind keeping it down? [Thudding] - Somebody save me! - We're coming, PanPan.
Huh? What is it, bro? That's it! We'll go where no bear has gone before.
[Heroic theme] [Music] [Whirring] Whoa, whoa, steady, steady.
I'm flying! All right, time to take out the trash.
Dive, dive, dive.
Give me back my brother! Unh! Take that, monkey! Wha! Whoa! What the devil is going on out here? [Carl grunting] Who could be responsible [Gasps] You.
Pasty one, come back here.
Almost got you, PanPan.
Whoa.
What the I'm coming back for you, Pan.
Whoa! Oh, whoa! What's going on down there? You scoundrel, return that immediately.
[Music] I thought you said you had your pilot's license.
I've got you now, bear.
What? [Squawk!] [Struggling] Got you now, Carl! [Music] You just made him more upset.
[Whirring] Ah! Huh? Turn me around, bro! I've got to save Panda.
[Grunting] Ha-ha, I've got you now, my slippery seal.
Get me in close, bro.
Whoa! Give it back.
It's mine.
Ah! Grizz, help! Aah! - Got ya! - Nice catch, Grizz.
- Whew.
- That's mine! Oh, no.
Great work, little bro, let's get out of here.
You said it.
Aah! We're goin' down.
- We're goin' down! - Aah! Mayday, mayday! We're gonna crash! We're gonna crash.
[Crash!] Huh? Oh! Oh, dear! Carl, darling.
Oh, my head.
Panda, are you all right? I'm I'm alive.
- And it's all thanks to Carl? - Oh, oh no.
Oh, Carl, my sweet, sweet prince.
Why is life so cruel? [Grunts] Huh? Oh! Carl?! You you're all right.
What a relief.
- What senseless tears.
- Yay! Whoo-hoo.
Oh, look at you, Carl.
You're You're smiling! I've never seen you smile before.
[Grunts] [Music] All right, Carl, my boy, are you ready to send our guests on their way? [Grunting] Thanks again for giving us a three-seater plane.
Of course.
You bears have made Carl such a happy gorilla.
Thanks, Carl.
Maybe next time just stick to toy bears.
They feel less pain.
All right, bros, prepare for take off.
Good-bye, little bears.
Bye, Carl! And there goes the best $10 million I've ever spent.
And it was all worth it for you, my friend.
[Grunting] [Laughing] Whoa!