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Best Bears Gallery Transcript
This is a transcribed copy of the episode "Best Bears".

Feel free to add to this page as long as the information comes directly from the episode.

Previous: "Family Troubles" Next: "Crowbar Jones: Origins"

(Intro plays.)

"Biggest day of my life. [Keypad clicking] "Wish me luck. Happy face, sunglasses." [Cellphone chirps] [Sighs] Grizz: Ready, Pan Pan? Ready as I'll ever be. Whoa, bro, you look amazing! I'm looking pretty fine myself, actually. Ice Bear so fresh. So clean. [Sighs] Am I doing the right thing, though? I-I feel like I'm going to mess this up. I just don't know. Everything will be fine. You know why? Because I'm the best bear, and I'm going to make sure everything goes great. Ice Bear like best bear but better. Aww, that means a lot, brothers. But you know what? We're all best bears, thanks to Darrell getting married, of course. Aww, thanks, guys. You don't know how much this means to me. I can't see anyone else being my best men other than ... Huh? [Chuckles] Thanks. I'm going to be honest, I'm just a giant ball of nerves right now. Are you kidding? This is going to be the best wedding ever! Also, man, your fiancée, Sofia, is the best. Yeah. I've never met anyone as amazing as Sofia. Ice Bear cool. Sofia cooler than cool. Right? I feel like a different man when I'm with her. Isn't she beautiful? And she's so much more talented than me. She's a hang-gliding teacher. She's a fashion designer. Whoa, what's that? Oh, I was telling Sofia that she should combine her two favorite things, hang-gliding and fashion, and call them Sofia Wings. It's like a normal dress, but when you hit this button right here, wings come out the back. Pretty cool, right? I'll take your silence as a yes. [Cellphone ringing] Huh? Oh, Sofia! I'd better get this. No, wait! No talking to the bride before the wedding. I heard it's bad luck. Yeah, but wait, I want to talk to her! Ice Bear first. The bestest bear got it! Wait, wait, me first. I'm the bestest bear. [Cellphone beeps] Hey, Sofia. What up? Huh? Sofia! It's me. [Both laughing] Hi, Sofia. Hey, Sofia. Hey, guys. Whoa. You're all looking sharp. Oh, why, thank you. Hey, did you get to read the new "Crowbar Jones" script I sent you? I did. You truly outdid yourself, Grizz. I love the part with the dragon babies fighting the ninjas. Right? I mean, I don't know why more movies don't have baby dragons. Sofia! Sofia: Panda! Dude, you'll be excited to know that I'm putting you at the singles table. Oh, you're my new best friend. Ice Bear. Sofia. Arm wrestling rematch. I'm down if you are. So, how far away are you guys? Ah, we're still at the cave, chillaxing for a bit before we get the ring, the cake, and the vows. [Laughs] You're joking, right? Why do you say that? 'Cause the wedding starts in 30 minutes. Gracias, Nana. You're on your way here, right? Yeah. Darrell: Oh, no! I must have gotten the alarm on my new phone and the schedule mixed up. We won't have time to get the ring or the cake or the vows. Yeah, we're ... we're totally on our way. What? [Gasps] Step on it, cab driver! [Chuckles nervously] Sofia: Sweet. See you soon. [Cellphone beeps] Yeesh. Darrell: Oh, how could you mess this up? You had one job, Darrell, and you flubbed it. What am I going to do? I'll tell you what you'll do. Huh? You're going to get married to the coolest lady in the world and party hard. But what about the ring, the cake, and the ... Shh, shh, shh. No need to fear. The best bears are here. All right, guys. To the city! Listen up. This is no test. [Music] This is a real-deal best-bears emergency. Okay, here's the plan. Panda will go and get the rings. I'll go and get the cake. Ice Bear will get the vows. Meet you all back at the church. Victory dance in the end zone. Ready? Bring it in. Grizzly! Panda! Ice Bear. Darrell. [Woman chuckling] Ohh! [Music] [Panting] Sorry! [Breathing heavily] Oh, boy. Hello, welcome to Once in a Lifetime... Whoa! ...Jewelers. I'm here ... I'm here to pick ... I'm here to pick, uh ... You're here to pick up...? [Gasping] I'm here to pi... Wait. I don't follow. Ah, yes, the rose gold and the solitaire. Excellent choices. Here we are. [Gasps] Beautiful. Congratulations, Mr. Saragosa. Oh, I'm not Mr. Saragosa. I'm just his best bear. Ah, right. That makes perfect sense. For a second there, I was thinking, "Who'd marry this guy?" Yeah. [Chuckles] Wait, what? [Chuckles] It was a joke. [Laughs dryly] "You're funny"...said no one. [Chuckles dryly] [Growls] [Music] [Growls] Oh! [Laughs] Best bear out! [Laughs] Out of the way! Huh? No, no, no, no, no, no, stop bouncing. Cake Man: One cake for Mr. Darrell Saragosa. Oh, that's me. Thank you, Mr. Chef! Ooh. [Laughs] Hey, there, buddy. Huh? Hmm. Uh-oh. What's that? Okay, out you go. All right. Now, just got to fix this, and there. Aah! [Laughs] [Munches] [Whimpers] I can still fix this. I can still fix it. Uh, okay. [Whimpering] [Gasping, yelling] No-o-o-o!! [Music] Where could those vows be? I was writing them here at the store. Ah, typical Darrell, losing the vows minutes before the wedding. What does Sofia even see in a bozo like me? Oh, it's hopeless! Ice Bear can get some vows at the black market. There's no time. Darrell will make time. Sofia making time to spend life with Darrell. Huh? Darrell will be there for Sofia. Darrell will care for Sofia. Darrell will sail to end of earth for ... Oh, thanks. ...sail to end of earth for Sofia. Darrell and Sofia are forever. And got it. Thanks. You, sir, are a gift to this world. Ice Bear knows. All right. Let's get out of here and get to my wedding! [Music] [Panting] No, no, no, no, no, no. Aah! Hey there, Pan Pan. You made it. Wha... Huh? What? [Church bells tolling] Oh. Oh, oh, yeah, no, I totally planned that. [Panting] Was it hard getting the cake? Oh... [Chuckles] not at all. Check it out. [Creepy music] Looks good. [Sighs] All right. I think I'm ready. Time to get married. I can finally do this. [Cellphone ringing] Wha! Oh, no. It's Sofia. Ice Bear got this. Don't worry, Darrell. We got you. Yeah, well, we are your best bears after all. Best bears speaking. Hey, you guys here? Yep, yep. I got the best cake for the best wedding. I didn't lose the rings or anything. Darrell has vows. Sweet! You bears are truly the best. All right, y'all. Let's do this. Sofia out. Wow, Sofia is so cool. She should run for president or something. She could be the queen of her own country, and it should be called Awesome-tropolis. Yeah, and only cool people live there, like astronauts, surfers and retired samurais. And ice bears. [Chuckles] Yeah, she's so cool. Now, who's ready to get married? Huh? I'm not ready! Aah, he's running away! Ugh, more running? [Music] Hey, Darrell. I'm Sofia's cousin. It's so nice to meet you. [All speaking indistinctly] [Screams] Darrell! Hold my cake! Darrell, come back, man! Where are you going? [Panting] I can't go anymore. Darrell? Huh? Aah! [Creak] This isn't what it looks like. I-I'm just trying to climb down so that I can run away as far as possible. Aah! Now that I think I think about it, this is probably not the best way to do it. What about the wedding? You don't want to get married? Is it the suit? Is it the cake? Darrell is a wild horse that cannot be tamed. [Bell tolling loudly] Aah! [Gasps] Darrell! I got you, Darrell. Just take my paw. We'll go downstairs together and start the wedding. I don't wanna! Why? [All scream] Because I'm not good enough for her! What? You know it's true. Sofia's out of my league. She hang-glides. She even takes care of injured Bengal tigers in her free time. I'm just Darrell, a 39-year-old man living with his grandmother that sells mouse pads. Mouse pads! [Music] Hey, I don't know about you, but that sounds like a cool guy to me, and all your Nana ever does is talk about you. Yeah, and you run your own business. That's impressive. Darrell also light on feet. Makes for great ninja. You're a great guy, Darrell, and don't you forget that. Wow. Thanks, guys. You know what? You guys aren't the best bears. You're the greatest bears. [Gasps] We leveled up. Yes! Come on, man. Let's get you to that wedding. Okay, guys. Whoa! [Cellphone ringing] What? Aah! [Screaming] No! Hang on! Aah! [Music] Yay! Go Sofia! Yay. Hooray. Hey, you know those Sofia Wings? Not a bad idea. Darrell will care for Sofia. Darrell will protect Sofia. Darrell will sail to the end of the earth for Sofia. [Cheers and applause] [Speaking Spanish] ♪ I've got this feelin' ♪ [Chuckles] Thank you. ♪ So I put a record on ♪ ♪ And start singin' ♪ ♪ Oh, oh, platforms and suede ♪ [Trills] ♪ 'Cause we groovin' ♪ ♪ Till we don't know the time of day ♪ They grow up so fast. Best bears? Best bears!

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