Icy Nights/Transcript

Transcript

This is a transcribed copy of the episode "Icy Nights".

Feel free to add to this page as long as the information comes directly from the episode.

	[The episode opens in The Cave. Cut to Ice Bear at his Fridge, reading a book, which says "War and War Again". Alarm blaring. Ice Bear takes his eyes off of his book and looks menacingly. Cut to the living room, where we see Grizzly and Panda watching TV on the couch. ]
Man from TV	[ British accent ] My lady, can't you see he's only marrying you because of your family's position? [Laughter]
Grizzly	[ Noticing Ice Bear ] Huh? Hey, where you going, bro?
Ice Bear	Ice Bear off to grocery store.
Grizzly	[ Shocked ] At night?
Ice Bear	No long lines.
Grizzly	Oh, well, in that case, can you pick up some pizza bagels?
Panda	[ Yawns ] Yeah, pizza bagels!
Grizzly	Hey, wait, how are you gonna get to the city? Kinda late for the bus.
Ice Bear	Ice Bear has ride.
	[ Dramatic music plays ]
	[ Angelic choir ]
Ice Bear	Hey.
	[ Wolf Street plays ]
Civilians	-Woah. -Look at that guy.
	♪ Cruisin' low city light, down the boulevard ♪
	♪ Hear the howl tonight
	[ Whirring ]
	[ Chains rattling ]
	[ Beeps ]
Cashier	Okay sir, that will be $25.50.
Techies Gang	[ Laughter ]
	-Check this out. -I got it.
	Check it out. Whoo! It's working now.
	[ Door chimes ] [ Laughter ]
Ice Bear	Please get off Ice Bear's ride.
Barry	Oh [ Chuckles ] is this yours? We were admiring your upgrades and customizations.
Barry	This is a really high-quality product you have here. So, how much do you want for it?
Ice Bear	[ Slightly irritated ] Not for sale.
Barry	[ Angered inside ] Sorry, what was that?
Bryce	[ Hearing ] He said it's not for sale--
Barry	[ Screams at Bryce in annoyance ] I know what he said, Bryce! [ Breathes deeply ]
Barry	[ Calmly ] Sorry about that. I'm not sure you understood my question. I want to buy your product, and when I want something, I get it.
Ice Bear	[ Annoyed ] Ice Bear repeats -- not for sale. [ Claps ]
Barry	[ Yells ]
Bryce and Logan	-Huh? Get up, man. -Are you okay?
	[ Door chimes ]
Cashier	Excuse me, sir, you need to sign for the card.
Barry	[ Growls in frustration. Frustrated and desperate, Barry glares at Ice Bear in anger.]
Cashier	Have a nice night, sir.
Ice Bear	[ Nicely ] Thank you.
	[ Rattling ]
Barry	[ Chuckles ]
	[ Tires squeal ]
Ice Bear	[ Breathing heavily ]
Cashier	Sir, you want me to call the police?
Ice Bear	[ Cracking ] Ice Bear will take care of this.
	♪♪
	[ Knocking ]
Ice Bear	[ in Russian accent ] Bukashka. [ In Russian means: "Букашка". ]
	[ Door squeaks. Bouncer glares Ice Bear, who gives him Pizza Bagels, convincing the bouncer to let Ice Bear in. ]
Bouncer	[ in Russian accent ] Zakhodi. [In Russian means: "Заходи". ]
	[ Indistinct conversations, electronic beeping. Ice Bear walks over to the young woman, speaking in Russian accent. ]
Yana	Nyet! We do not sell snacks here. What kind of place do you think this is? [ In complete Russian ] Ya tibe govorila ne trogat' WI-FI! (Hey, you! I told you not to touch the wi-fi!) Čto ti hočeš'? (What do you want?)
Yana	[ Gasp ] You.
Ice Bear	Prošlo mnogo vremeni. (It's been a long time.)
Yana	I thought I told you never to come back here.
Ice Bear	Ice Bear needs to find someone.
Yana	[ Laughs ] You need my help again?
[Ice Bear grabs pencil and paper and writes the steampunk and fire.]
Ice Bear	Ty kogda videli etot simvol? (Have you ever seen this symbol?)
Yana	You're in over your head, and why would I help you anyway? The last time I did you a favor, you crashed my car and I ended up with 30 stitches in my shoulder!
Ice Bear	For Ice Bear, please. One last time. ( in Russian ) Ja boljše nikogda ne vas bespokoit'. (I will never bother you again.)
Yana	[ Sighs ] Do not tell a single soul I gave you this. Their headquarters is on the far side of town. Be careful. They're very dangerous... Excuse me, I have coffee to make for nerds.
Yana	[ Sighs ] Why don't you stay a while, catch up on old -- huh?
	[ Cross My Heart plays ]
	[ Laughter ]
	Oh, man, tonight is gonna be epic!
Barry	[ Scoffs ] Talk like that is the reason people call us bro-grammers. Yeah, yes, [Snorts] it'll be epic.
	[ Beeping ]
	[ Dramatic music plays ]
	[ Whip! ]
	[ Electronic beeping ]
	[ Cheering ]
	[ Electronic music plays ]
	[ Indistinct shouting ]
Referee	Oh snap! Fatality! Enough of that noise! Who's brave enough to challenge these brogrammers!
Crowd	[ Chanting ] Barry! Barry! Barry!
	Move it, buddy! I'll grind your new bot to dust with my new ultimate destroyer x235!
	[ Shing! Whir! ]
Ice Bear	[ Gasps ]
	That?! That's the best you got? [ Laughs ] Oh, this is gonna be too easy! [ Laughs ]
Barry	You're right... It is.
	[ Beeps ] [ Shing! ]
	[ Bell dings ]
	Huh?
	[ Clang! ]
	[ Electronic music plays ]
	[ Cheering ]
	[ Crashing, clanking ]
Barry	Well, well, well. I had a feeling you'd show up. This here -- it's just something we tech guys like to do for fun. After developing code all day, building servers, creating frameworks, it's nice to destroy something once in a while. You know? Unfortunate that we had to "borrow" your modified vacuum cleaner, but, hey, we call that "fair use".
Barry	Look, we're always scouting for new talent in the tech industry, so I propose we make a deal. Join our company. Become one of us. What do you say?
Ice Bear	Ice Bear will break you.
Barry	Hmm. Well, you can't blame me for trying. If it's a fight you want, then a fight you shall have.
Crowd	[ Chanting ] Fight! Fight! Fight!
Barry	I guess that settles it, and you know what? I've got the perfect opponent for you. Should've left it alone, bear. I told you -- when I want something, I get it.
Referee	Oh, shoot! Looks like we've goto ur first ever bot-versus-bear match!
Barry	Let the games begin.
	[ Whirring ]
	[ Dramatic music plays ]
	[ Warbling ]
	[ Dramatic music intensifies ]
Barry	[ Chuckles ]
Ice Bear	[ Claps ]
	[ Shing! ]
	[ Collective "What?" ]
Barry	What the...?
Roomba	[ Beeps ]
[ Happy to see that his beloved robotic vacuum breaks free from Barry's control, Ice Bear gives Barry a triumphanted look, causing Barry to twich his eye in rage. ]
Barry	[ Furious ] Get the bear! All robots in the pit now!
Robots	[ Beep ]
Robots	[ Whirring ]
Music	[ Epic music plays ]
Barry	Finish the vacuum cleaner.
	[ Whirring ]
	[ Electronic hum slows ]
	[ Laughs ] Yeah!
	[ Laughter ]
	[ All gasp ]
Barry	Hey, where are you guys going? Come back here!
Ice Bear	[ Breathing heavily ]
[ The Techies Gang are completely terrified of Ice Bear's fury, so they leave in fear and horror.]
Referee	Uh, I'm out, yo. Lates.
Referee	[ Leaves. Static ]
Barry	[ Slow clap ] Well played, my ursine friend, but I have to wonder, what will your next move be?
Barry	I thought you'd have learned by now, bear. I'll always be one move ahead of you.
Ice Bear	Ice Bear is gonna find you one day.
Barry	[ Chuckles ] Good luck.
	[ Greatest plays ]
Woman	Oh, Quincy, my love! [ Laughter ]
	[ Door opens, closes ]
Grizzly	Hey, what took so long?
Ice Bear	Long lines.
Panda	I thought we'd starve.
Grizzly	[ Taking out the robotic saw, astonishing Grizzly and Panda ] Dude, what the heck is this?
	[ Electricity crackles ]
	[ Claps ]
	♪ My friend for the win, always my... ♪