Nom Nom's Entourage | Gallery | Transcript |
This is a transcribed copy of the episode "Nom Nom's Entourage".
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[The episode starts with The Bears watching a video of a hedgehog playing a piano.] | |
Panda | (laughs) Aw, that never gets old. Play it again! |
Grizzly | That's enough hedgehog beats for today. Hm, check this video. 5,000,000 views?! |
Panda: Click it!
Grizz: Ok ok, settle down.
["Andy Bangs" appears on the screen, along with scares from Andy.]
Passing Woman: Um, whose baby is this? (takes a closer look) Hello?
Andrew Bangs: (jump-scares lady) Bang!
Passing Woman: Woah!
The Bears: Woah! (Panda falls over.)
Andrew: Hahahaha.
(An elderly woman is feeding the birds when Andy comes out of the bushes)
Andrew: Bang!
Elderly Woman: Ah!
(At a funeral, Andy jumpscares out of the casket)
Andrew: Bang! That's an A-Plus bang scare. (Andy sticks out his tongue, showing "Like and Subscribe" on it)
Grizz: Oh, why do people like this guy? He's the worst.
Panda: (afraid) Is he gone?
Grizz: Ok, let's search something else.
[Grizz searches up "NOT SCARY VIDEOS" and finds a Nom Nom video.]
Grizz: Huh, new Nom Nom video.
Panda: That guy is kinda the worst too, after all he has done to us.
Ice Bear: Ice Bear's grudge is still strong.
Grizz: Yeah, but he is still adorable and awesome.
(Video shows Nom Nom balancing on a ball, but loses balance and falls on the sand cutely)
Grizz: Wooh.
Ice Bear: Ice Bear still doesn't like.
Grizz: You know, both these guys have tons of hits and followers, i wonder if they know each other.
(A mini drumroll plays, the screen then shifts to Nom Nom and his 3 bodyguards walking through the streets of San Francisco.)
Nom Nom: I want the organic eucalyptus leaves this time, none of that synthetic[?] junk anymore. Also make sure it's on the branch, I refuse to eat plated leaves, and make sure my stylist's available next week I swear, I am going to lose my-
(Nom Nom bumps into Andy)
(Andrew gets up and puts Nom Nom's sunglasses atop his own head.)
Nom Nom: Hey, what's the-
Andrew: Well, look who it is. Little ol' Nom Nom.
Andrew's Friend #1: Yeah, you tell em A.B!
Andrew: You should look where you're going Noms, you could hurt yourself.
Nom Nom: you watch where you're going, Andy. Shouldn't you be hiding in a stroller somewhere?
Andrew: Y'know I would use yours, but it looks like baby decided to walk today.
Andrew's Friend #2: OHOHH SNAP!
Andrew: Say, (motions over to Nom Nom's entourage.) what you got here anyway? Is this your weak-sauce entourage? Hehehehe. Don't you know your entourage is supposed to be cool, Noms? I bet they can't even give you high fives. Hehehe. (Andrew's friends high five him)
Nom Nom: You're wrong, Andy! (Nom Nom turns around and mumbles to his entourage) Back me up...
Nom Nom's Bodyguard: Uhhhh.. (opens luggage and takes out a paper) We could sue.
(Andrew and his entourage laugh hysterically, embarrassing Nom Nom.)
Nom Nom: You, you b- You better f-
Andrew: (condescendingly) Aww, is Nombles gonna cwy?
Andrew's Friend 2: Ohoh, here it comes!
Andrew: Maybe we should call a wam-bulance.
(Andrew's entourage cheers Andy on(?))
Nom Nom: I-I, y-you need an a-
Andrew: Nonono, maybe we should call the fire department to treat all these sick BURNS!
(Andrew's entourage continues to cheer for him and laugh at Nom Nom.)
Andrew: Well it's been fun catching up Noms, but, (Andrew puts on Nom Nom's glasses) my real entourage and I have to get going. (walking away and waving) Smell ya later, Bum Bum.
(Andrew's entourage laugh and follow him.)
Nom Nom: (shaking his fist at Andrew) THOSE WERE MY SUNGLASSES! Grrr, you- WHAT WAS THAT? YOU DIDN'T EVEN THINK OF ONE COOL THING TO SAY? WHAT DO I PAY YOU FOR?!
Nom Nom's Accountant: Um, I'm your accountant.
Nom Nom's Business Manager: Business Manager.
Nom Nom's Eucalyptus Broker: Eucalyptus Broker.
Nom Nom: Goff, useless. I can't afford another blow like that to my street cred. If I'm gonna compete with Andy I'm gonna need an ACTUAL entourage! Where to find the right people. Hmmm.. (Nom Nom looks back to his entourage, reimagining them as The Bear with shades.)
(Scene changes to another area)
Panda: Ugh, I cannot stop thinking about that Andy Bangs video.I feel like he can pop out and scare us too! He could be lurking anywhere! We're liable to be scared any minute out here in the open.
Grizz: Panpan, look, there's no Andy Bangs here, okay? I promise. Now, why don't we go on and get some ice cream. Take your mind off all this silly business and then ...
(Three masked thugs jump out a car and grab the bears by their mouths and drag them into the car and it speeds off. At Nom Nom's mansion, they take off the bags on the bears' heads.)
Grizz: Huh? What's going on? Who are you? Who are we?
Nom Nom: Good evening, gentlemen.
Panda: Oh, no.
Nom Nom: I'm so glad you could make it. I do apologize for the dramatics, but security and all that ... you understand.
Panda: Why do you want, Nom Nom?
Nom Nom: I'll be honest. I know I may have been a jerk to you guys in the past.
Grizz: You mean like the whole kidnapping thing just now?
Nom Nom: Yes, exactly! I'll get to the point. I am in need of a new entourage. My previous crew was useless. I need a posse to provide hype and high fives and generally elevate my coolness. And that's where you come in. If you accept, your job will be to attend many cool parties with me. Most importantly, you will help me one-up my nemesis, the rotten, ugly, no-good Andy Bangs!
Grizz: Ugh! Andy Bangs! Don't get us started on that guy.
Panda: Yeah, he's the worst.
Nom Nom: You're right! Yes, I'm glad you agree. I know we've had our differences, and I'm sorry for being a jerk. But join me, and together we can teach that jump-scare buffoon a lesson! What do you say? Will you be my entourage?
Panda: Gosh, he's cute.
Grizz: Hold on, Nom Nom. We need to talk this over privately for a minute. (All whispering) Okay, we'll give it a shot. Just one question ... what's an entourage?
Nom Nom; Just follow my lead. (ad)(/ad) (Music)
(They enter a cafe with the bears sqeezing through the door, all grunting)
Nom Nom: Hey, what ... What are you guys doing? You're supposed to be cool.
Grizz: Yeah, we're trying. We're just not really sure what you want us to do.
Nom Nom: You're my entourage. Your whole job is to make me look good. When I walk in a room, everyone should know who I am.
Ice Bear: (Grabs man from table and shows him Nom Nom) This is Nom Nom.
Man; Uh-huh. Hello?
Nom Nom: Oh, just follow me, and try to do it with some swagger.
(The bears try to walk with swagger)
Cashier: Here you go. Enjoy. Hi, what can I get for you?
Nom Nom: (whispers to Grizz) I want a double-shot mocha with whip, no sweetener.
Grizz: Got it. I'd like a double mocha shoot me with sweet whip.
Cashier: Hot or cold and what size, small, medium, or medium tall?
Grizz: I guess he's a cold small?
Cashier: Coming right up.
Panda: Can we get smoothies instead?
Ice Bear: Sushi for Ice Bear.
Nom Nom: Aah! You numbskulls! How can you make me look good when you can't even get an order right?
Grizz: We're so sorry, Nom Nom. We really are trying.
Ice Bear: Ice Bear ready for cool parties.
Nom Nom: Just do your job, bears. Come on!
Cashier: Order up.
Nom Nom: (Grunts) You see, this coffee is a mistake ... almost as bad a mistake as hiring you ... (Throws coffee in the trash but Andy Bangs pops out the trashcan)
Andy Bangs: Bang! Aah! Oh! (Laughs) Oh, man, I got you. Top-notch trash scare, boys. (Laughs) My, my, is this your new entourage, Noms? I'm impressed. They're even lamer than the last one. You know what? This calls for a group photo, don't you think? (Takes embarrassing photo of Nom Nom with coffee spilled on him)
(At Nom Nom's mansion, the photo is now on the internet and Nom Nom is standing on top of a bodyguard's head wrapped in a towel)
Nom Nom: This is unacceptable! You guys should have backed me up. I should fire you right now!
Panda: Well, maybe you need to think of us not so much as employees, maybe more like friends.
Grizz: Yeah, we're not trying to do a job, we're trying to be your friends, bro.
Nom Nom: (Scoffs) Why would I want friends?
Grizz: Oh, man, you're missing out. Look, I know a lot of people think I'm confident because of my good looks and solid hygiene, but it really comes from having good friends like my bros.
Nom Nom: (Sighs) I've never really had friends before. It's been tough. I don't think I've ever had a friend I didn't pay for. I'm not sure. I don't think I know how to make friends.
Grizz: Dude, no worries. We'll teach you, man.
Nom Nom: Really? Well... What do we do first?
(Music montage starts with the bears showing Nom Nom what friends do. The bears enter the cafe, Grizz holds the door so Panda can walk in, followed by Nom Nom who is texting on his phone, he ignores the bears and Panda accidentally shuts the door in Ice Bear's face. Next the bears do fist bumps in the park, when Grizz shows it to Nom Nom he refuses but Grizz takes his paw and makes him clap his paw. In the cave, Nom Nom gets a friend request from Panda on social media, he looks at the bears who are smiling hopefully, but he rejects the friend request. In the city, the bears are stacked carrying Nom Nom on a throne but they collapse and Nom Nom falls to the ground. As they enter the cave, Nom Nom holds the door for the bears as they walk in, much to Nom Nom's and their surprise. Then Nom Nom accepts Panda's friend request as they cheer. They all do fist bumps and dance in the cafe, they go see a hedgehog playing the piano on stage and applaud, then Nom Nom rides atop the bear-stack as they run in the wild as Ice Bear jumps off a cliff. Finally, Nom Nom takes a selfie with the bears in the park.)
(Scene changes to a night club with a limo stopping by the entrance. The bears and Nom Nom step out wearing sunglasses as the people in line watch them. The bouncer steps aside so they can enter.)
Bouncer: Andy Bangs is here.
Nom Nom: Good. (They enter the night club, walking by the party goers who they hand their glasses to.)
Woman: Nom Nom, can I get your autograph ... oof! (Ice Bear stops her with his paw as Nom Nom signs her notebook)
Music: ♪ Next time, because the game is on ♪ ♪ So far, but I ain't playing, girl ♪ ♪ Do it ♪ ♪ Do it ♪ ♪ Do it ♪ (Record scratches, music stops)
Nom Nom: Hey, where'd my jams go?
Andy Bangs: Well, well. (clapping) Look who came to the party.
Nom Nom: Hello, Andrew. I'm surprised you showed up with your sad excuse of an entourage. (Crowd oohs)
Andy Bangs: Snap! The only sad thing here is the amount of views on your last video. (Crowd oohs)
Nom Nom: Yeah, well ... well, all my fans would say different. Your preschool class doesn't count as fans. (Crowd oohs)
??? A-At least he went to preschool. Education at a young age is fundamental.
Nom Nom: Andy, your teeth are so big, you gotta floss with a piece of rope. (Crowd oohs)
Andy Bangs: I ... wha... Your voice is so high, only dogs can hear it. (Crowd oohs)
Nom Nom: You're so short, they won't even let you inside the theme park. (Crowd oohs) Your bangs have split ends! (All gasp) (Growls) A little harsh, huh? What's the matter, Andy? Can't your crew back you up?
Andy Bangs: Oh, I have a crew that can back me up. Let's take this outside. (Crowd chanting "fight")
Grizz: Whoa, wait! Where's Nom Nom? Guys, he ditched us. Oh, I thought we were friends. What a jerk.
Nom Nom: Hold on, guys. This is totally unnecessary. We're all cool here, right? Look at you, with your sunglasses. So cool.
Panda: (Gasps) (Cellphone vibrates) Guys, it's a text from Nom Nom. "Duck"? Duck! Aagh! (Squeals)
Nom Nom: (Laughs) I got you! And it's all on camera! What? (Cellphone beeps) Video uploaded. The views are off the charts. Did you hear that, Andy? Everyone sees you for the scaredy baby you are. You're done!
Grizz: You had this planned? Were you just using us the whole time? I thought we were friends.
Nom Nom: We were, and now that Andy's through, I'm no longer in need of your services. My associates will handle your payment. Transfer a $5 credit in their name to the official Nom Nom merch website.
Panda: (Cellphone beeps) Can we at least get a ride home?
(Door opens, the Bears grunt as they struggle to get outside)
Panda: Oh, Nom Nom unfriended me. Ah, you've done it again, Nom Nom. Guess I can get rid of these stupid photos. Delete, delete, delete-a-reeno. Delete, de... (Music) Take me home! I smell like garbage!